HALO's monthly life skill is Integrity. We have been discussing what this word truly means with our board, staff, volunteers, and the youth we serve. Our definition has come down to an actionable item: do what you say you are going to do. The story below is not for the easily grossed-out. Its about potty training. Proceed with caution.
My 2 year-old son Klaebel is going through the lovely process of potty training. The potty part he has gotten down with flying colors. The #2 part is taking a little longer. He had it down for a few weeks but for some reason he got what I call "poo anxiety". He all of a sudden started freaking out when it was poo time and would hide under tables or blankets when he had to go. Not exactly fun when I am in line at Target with him and his one year old brother. I tried everything - comforting him, bribing with M&M's, long discussions about everyone else in his life (including super heroes) who successfully go #2 on the toilet, and I still got a scared little guy who thought there was a monster in the toilet.
One night, I was home alone with the boys and I sat Klaebel on the toilet. He was scared but we both knew he really had to go. I sat down on a little stool in front of him him and he hugged my neck, crying, saying "Klaebel do it." I kept telling him it was ok to go on the toilet, reassuring that it wouldn't hurt. After a bit, he finally trusted me. We heard a "plop" in the toilet which caused his cry to turn into a laugh I will never forget. (At this point I was crying too). He screamed, "PLOP!!" We both sat there for what seemed like eternity, laughing hysterically with tears streaming down our faces. It was one of those times when I felt like I was hanging out with an adult as he totally got the humor of the situation.
After his bath, books, PJ, and prayers, I was rocking him to sleep singing his songs. He closed his eyes and drifted off. I was exhausted and started to fall asleep when all of a sudden in a loud little voice I hear, "M&M&M&M!" He remembered. I promised him earlier in the week that he could have an M&M if he went #2 on the toilet. At this point, going all the way down stairs to get him an M&M at a time of night when he shouldn't have one sounded like a bad idea. I was actually being lazy. I looked down at him and thought, how could I say no to this? He just had a major life success. Who am I to take away my promise? Following through builds trust. That's what integrity is all about. Would he ever trust me again when I said I would do something if I didn't follow through? I sat him in the rocking chair, went downstairs and got 2 M&M's with a sippy-cup of milk. I held him in my arms and we had an M&M toast. Klaebel giggled himself to sleep. I didn't stop smiling the rest of the night. And honestly, it was the best toast of my life.
The next time I even think of not following through, I will remember The M&M Integrity Lesson, taught by the one and only Klaebel James Welsh.
