Black Belt Focus

HALO's Life Skill for this month is Focus. Our staff, youth, and volunteers are encouraged to concentrate on how they might improve this life skill in their lives. One fascinating example of this is the keen focus of our volunteers. Their focus helped us surpass our $150,000 goal at the KC HALO Artreach Auction a few weeks back. This will will give hundreds of children in need the ability to dream. 

I asked Brian Davidson, my Martial Arts instructor of 15 years, to be a guest blogger today and teach us a bit about the focus of a black belt. Such a treat:

FOCUS  is the necessary ingredient for success.  Without FOCUS, getting to a goal is an accident or a lucky break.  FOCUS does have a teammate, however.  His name is DISCIPLINE. The two teammates work hand-in-hand to achieve goals.  DISCIPLINE requires FOCUS and FOCUS requires DISCIPLINE.  To become successful at anything in life we have to repeat it over and over. 

In my sport of martial arts, I have to punch and kick every day.  And each day I have to approach the punch or kick as if I’m not good at it yet,  as if I have so much more to learn about the punch or kick. Even as a Master my kick will always have room to improve.  I must use FOCUS to continue to enjoy kicking and punching.  I must FOCUS on the image I have in my mind of what the kick is supposed to look like.  I will continue that FOCUS until it matches my mental image. 

This analogy is applicable in all areas of life.  FOCUS forces us to settle down and concentrate on a task. But at the same time it forces us to move forward as we get closer to achieving our goal.

A Drill to Practice:

Make a Major Goal.  Set up 3 small goals that will help you reach the Major Goal. FOCUS on the first small goal, the second, and then the finally the third.  You will find yourself reaching more goals using this format. 

Exercise to Simulate:

Major Goal: 75 pushups.  1^st small goal: 25 push ups. 2^nd small goal: 2nd set of 25 pushups. 3^rd small goal: 3rd set 25 pushups.  Once you are able to do 3 sets of 25 push-ups, you have completed your Major Goal.  Congratulations. 

Brian Davidson

6^th Degree Black Belt

Master Instructor, Multiple World Champion

Professional Mixed Martial Artist

www.kids2leaders.com

The privilege to dream

March 2006, upon arriving in Kenya I was preparing to spend the day in a small wooden building that was our orphanage. This is memorable to me for a number of reasons: it was the first time I would do artwork with the HALO supported youth in this home and at the time this was one of the more remote homes that we supported. The agenda for the day was to introduce a HALO art project. This particular one was geared toward helping the youth to develop a positive outlook on the future. I was comfortable doing this project with youth from the U.S. and Mexico, which left me little doubt that these kids would respond any differently.

Looking like your typical tourist in Africa, I had a huge roller suitcase. The only difference was that mine was filled with art supplies. With some assistance from the orphanage mentors, we passed out the supplies and got ready to go. I stood in front of the artists with all eyes on me and said, "Let's do a project about what you want to be when you grow up." Crickets...

What I failed to realize was that I was asking children, who have lost the main adult influences in their lives and who had recently come from living on the streets, to imagine anything beyond today. These children never had the luxury to think about anything more than survival and where their next meal would come from. They looked at me like I was crazy... and I was. Crazy naive. 

We worked for days on this "new concept" called - their future. We started with a number of questions: What do think you will do tomorrow? What will you look like in a year? How do you think you will look when you are my age? We talked about how, now that they are living in this safe orphanage, they will not have to worry about where their next meal will come from or where they will sleep at night ever again. They looked at me again as if I were again crazy. I looked back at each one of them, and made promises that HALO will forever keep. You are safe, you will thrive and you will become a positive, contributing member of your community.

We finally got to the point where the kids felt comfortable saying their dreams out loud. I clearly remember Elias, around 12 years old, whispering, "I want to be a pilot" and covering his mouth as if he said a bad word. He got to the point in the next few days where he painted a picture about it, shouted it out loud, and ultimately was proud and confident enough to hang his painting on the wall in the dining hall. Abdul is now where Elias was...

I am not much of a crier but that day I cried my eyes out. I was extremely humbled by the thought of being so privileged just to be ABLE to dream, and more importantly be able to pursue those dreams. 

For HALO youth, sharing dreams is a VICTORY. 

It is that time of year once again for the Artreach Auction. This is our opportunity to share the dreams of our youth with our supporters.  Thanks to our generous donors, HALO supported youth who come from unimaginable circumstance learn that it is ok to dream. You all provide the tools to help them reach those dreams. We are super excited to talk about these precious dreams with our loyal and committed supporters on the evening of Friday May 4th.

I personally cannot wait to pass on the overwhelming gratitude we feel from our youth to each one of our guests. 

For more info on the Artreach Auction or to learn more about how you can support a dream, visit www.haloworldwide.org  

Share the credit, take the blame

About 10 years ago, I had a martial arts instructor give me this advice that will stay with me for the rest of my life: Share the credit, take the blame. This simple statement, when applied to our daily lives, keeps us accountable. If we did something like show up to class late, it was our job to take responsibility. Nobody wanted to hear about the wreck on the highway or how it was someone else's fault. We just said "it was poor planning on my part" and moved on.

This month's life skill for HALO is Accountability: The act of being responsible for one’s actions.

For HALO youth, this is especially important. We recently had a young lady take her first step to achieving her dream of becoming a lawyer by accepting an Apprenticeship at Krigel and Krigel law firm in Kansas City. During her training at the HALO Center that prepared her for this endeavor, she learned that is imperative that she learns to be over prepared and willing to take full responsibility for her actions in the workplace. If she shows her strong desire to be in that profession, openness to constructive criticism, and tenacious work ethic, this position could lead to a brighter future. The possibilities are endless.

It takes courage to be held accountable. We set goals and have self-discipline toward those goals. When we step back and to held accountable to those goals it can be ugly at times, especially when someone else is involved. But facing that ugly is what leads us to growth and success.  There are always ways to improve or drop our little self-protective excuses we make every day for our short comings or laziness. 

I believe we may all learn from our youth who are so committed to their dreams and willing to be held accountable. This spirit drives them through adversity and on to the lives they deserve.

If you are interested in learning more about our Apprenticeship Program and how you or your business may get involved, email chelseaherzberg@haloworldwide.org

"Many people have the wrong idea of happiness. It is not obtained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." Helen Keller

8 years old with many layers

This week, Chelsea Herzberg, HALO Center Director shares a story about a talented youth in the Kansas City Center.

8 year old Dakota unknowingly quoted a famous artist. In an interview, artist Robert Rauschenberg was asked, "How do you know when you are finished with a painting?" and Rauschenberg replied, "When I sell it". Dakota was sharing with HALO Center volunteer, Heidi Wetzel, about the different layers on his painting. Heidi asked Dakota how he would know when he was finished with his piece. Dakota simply replied, "When I give it away." We've got a young artist on our hands!

Dakota also impresses with his vocabulary and intention. When asked about his self-portrait, Dakota went into deep detail about why he chose to layer different colors and why he chose the colors he did. You can see bits of blonde hair poking out above brownish-purple paint; Dakota spent a lot of time adding detail to his shirt, face and hair. Upon what appeared to be a nearly finished piece, Dakota mixed together red, blue and a touch of black and applied as a top layer over his face and shirt.

Layers return in another work of art done by Dakota. In this piece (a quilt block to be added together with many other HALO Center youth's blocks to create a community art piece that will be displayed throughout Kansas City) Dakota uses black material to symbolize mountains, brown for buildings that make up the cityscape and blue and purple to represent the people living within the city.Dakota has chosen to lay a striped piece of cloth on top to signify how the community quilt will ultimately bring the city together.

Robert Rauschenberg started his art career here in Kanas City at the Art Institute in 1947. Throughout his life, Rauschenberg was able to live in or travel to Paris, North Carolina, New York, Rome, Florence, France, India, China… to name a few. It is inspiring to see how art can transform your life. We can’t wait to see how it will continue to transform the life of young Dakota and many other homeless, foster and at-risk youth in Kansas City.

The ripple effect

At the HALO Center, our volunteer hosts prepare for weeks leading up to our workshops that are geared toward giving youth the tools to become contributing members of their communities. Here is an example of a struggle we have had and how one person created a positive ripple effect to eliminate that struggle.

Stacey, a volunteer workshop instructor, creates a curriculum based on her experience as a cosmetologist. She imagines how her workshop will play out, how the kids will respond and how her course may just be the spark that helps one of the HALO youth find a positive path, much like she did. There is an excited, anxious energy at the HALO Center as Stacey and other volunteers wait on the youth to arrive. They are expecting the group at 6:30 and lay out materials for each youth. 

At the homeless shelter, Valerie prepares for her time at HALO. She has been there a few times before, and explored some options for what she may want to do beyond high school. Tonight she has signed up for a cosmetology workshop, which has interested her since she can remember. She is excited to learn from someone who actually does it for a living and who could give her some direction. Right when she is ready to walk out her room door, a shelter staff member knocks to say the workshop has been cancelled.

6:30 rolls around and nobody shows up at the HALO Center. 7:00 and nothing happens. Our Program Director calls the shelter to see when they can be expected and the answer is disappointing. They are unable to come tonight because of transportation issues.

Its a ripple effect. Shelters have had budget cuts, which means staff cuts, which means if something comes up ranging from transportation issues to behavior issues, HALO can take a back seat. This has been a challenge since we opened the HALO Center. The children are disappointed, the volunteers are bummed. The wind is taken out of the sails for everyone.

Last week a very engaged donor heard about our need for our own transportation. We explained that with freedom to pick up youth from any point in the city comes stability for everyone involved and a more effective program. After learning about the impact, he said "Let's get a van!" 

Chelsea Herzberg, HALO Center Program Director, shopping for a new van.

Now this ripples throughout our organization. Our staff is more confident in recruiting volunteers, our volunteers are more engaged without dealing with let down, our youth is exposed to more opportunity, and hundreds of additional children and teens like Valerie will get a chance to pursue their dreams. This van will get Kansas City youth in the most need from point A to point B. Point A being some of the most difficult situations you can imagine. Point B being a bright future.

Let's say Valerie takes the cosmetology class, succeeds, and is encouraged by Stacey to look at some schools. She applies, gets in, and receives a full pell grant which she will not have to pay back. She graduates and is referred to a high-end salon by Stacey, her mentor. Valerie is the first person in her family to hold down a regular job since she can remember. She gets and apartment with a fellow stylist, saves her money to buy a car, and is able to completely support herself.

The pattern has been broken. Thanks to Stacey and the volunteers, the van donor, the shelter, the HALO Program Director, and the man who generously donates the space for the HALO Center, Valerie is reaching her dream. Each of these people may not get to see the impact they have had, but Valerie knows it every day.

We all have the capability of creating ripple effects in this life, positive or negative. If we were able to see the full impact of our actions, we may reconsider some of our choices. This is something to consider with every action we take. To learn more about creating a positive ripple effect by supporting or volunteering at the HALO Center, email chelseaherzberg@haloworldwide.org.

When we really don't want to

Self discipline - Doing something you should do when you REALLY don't feel like it.

On my flight to L.A., thinking about the lovely young woman at the terminal with whom I just had an interesting conversation. She was refreshingly curious, asking questions about the 20 pound ball of joy jumping on my lap known as Klaebel, my son. Her honest and up-front inquiries were much like those I had during that period of my life. Does having kids change things that much? Is it difficult? After a challenging day of packing for two (including a stroller, car seat, and 30 diapers), going through security, and feeding him a bottle while answering work calls and emails, I thought, diffucult - yes. Change things - yes. Does one giggle from Klaebel make it worth it? YES.

During our conversation I discovered her aspirations of opening a shelter for homeless children with art as a main focus. I shared the mission of HALO and her curiosity was off the charts. She asked a line of questions  and made reference to taking a leap of faith and the extreme amount of work that must go into something like this.  Has it been difficult? Yes (I would like to say its been a great challenge). Does giving just one child a safe place make it worth every hour spent on our mission? YES.

There are definately times I don't feel like doing things. Do I really enjoy reading contracts, hearing bad news, or doing database work? No. But I do it. Why? Because there are 1000 kids counting on us and there are 1000 more waiting on us.

I believe in self-discipline, but without proper motivation, it would be near impossible for me to get the things done that I do not want to do. Would I eat healthy every day of my life if I knew it meant just one more day of life with my son and husband? YES. I know it's extreme, but thinking in these terms makes self-discipline a piece of cake.

If during the times we feel sloth-like we remember the core of WHY we are doing something, we can accomplish more than we could ever imagine. Whether it's pulling a report, working out, or making that dreaded call, there can be a positive motivation at the core of every action. We just have to find it and focus on it.

HALO's monthly life skill is self-discipline. We will all be working on improving this aspect of our lives, including our youth.  Our challenge: identify 3 things you don't like to do but should. Find a motive for each that will change your  attitude.

The balancing act

Balance. We all try so hard to balance work with personal goals and round ourselves out. Balance makes life better because it puts life in perspective, helps us realize that the end of the world has never been the end of the world and we aren't able to obsess about meaningless things. I have been learning balance as a new mom who works, while still trying to reach my potential in all areas of life.

HALO began with a beautiful spark of interest, collaboration, and fervor. Our plan was simple: raise as much as we can and we will support as many kids as we can with those funds. Reliance on volunteer team members in the beginning was unspoken, understood, and much appreciated. The outcome of the hours of work put in has been direct and extreme but also unpredictable and we have been lucky to have had so much success.

We have gotten pretty far by operating on these loose-terms, but we are now at a point where pretty far is not enough. We must meet our full potential because it is our duty to the children we meet who are in the greatest need imaginable and are not yet supported, waiting for us, waiting for a home. We also have far too much responsibility to operate on loose terms. Supporting over 1000 children around the world cannot be done without organization, deadlines, and accountability. Our mission to best serve the children we currently support while bringing in additional youth will only be met by sticking to strict time lines and goals. 

At HALO, we are working toward finding the balance between being a fun organization to volunteer with and one fiercely committed to the success of our programs. We rely on volunteers who are also trying to find balance in their lives. We firmly believe in the empowerment of the volunteer but we also must have a structure of open communication that helps us reach our goals. Open communication includes both sides - committing to a task and communicating when an overcommitment is realized. Our staff appreciates a volunteer commitment as much as when someone calls to say they have overcommitted. That way they don't get burnt out and we are able to ask for help from another volunteer, still reaching our goals. I personally feel combining fun with clear communication and a clear plan makes us closer to reaching our potential every day.

HALO will continue to strive toward being an invigorating organization while seeking out the best team of  volunteers, because that is what we have always had - volunteers who are excited to set and meet deadlines, raise their hand to help, follow through on ideas, make a profound impact, are positive, and say no if they are unable to do something. We have been blessed with many of these incredible volunteers, but we always need more.

If we all do what we say we will do, when we say we will do it, the outcome is direct and extreme. For HALO, it will mean the world to the additional children we will be able to support. Actually, it will mean their whole world. The balancing act becomes a cinch if we all keep that in mind, putting life in perspective for all of us.

If you are interested in making a profound impact, click here. Being part of bringing in children in the most need to a safe-haven of support is quite rewarding, no matter what is the task at hand.