Hunger Games, Real Life

Hunger Games, real life. That's all I could think of. We drove through the industrial district of Tijuana, Mexico this weekend while visiting our first-ever HALO supported home. The workers make $4 - $7 per day and live in shacks lined up on the mountainsides. As a little girl played on a disgusting rusted mattress atop the one room shack where she lived, I remembered that I live in the Capital on Hunger Games. I do. People live like this all over the world as they make t-shirts that I buy for $10. These shacks are the types of places our youth lived in before they were part of HALO. They were also  severely neglected. Every HALO trip comes with a realization like this. It overwhelms me.

The other realization I had was at the orphanage we have supported for 9 years. The kids are growing up. The 12 year olds are now 21. HALO has invested in the education of the youth in this home, hoping to change the course of their futures. Over 80% of the children in this home have been abused. The children used to attend schools in the area but because of their backgrounds, the kids needed more attention.

At HALO, we take every dollar very seriously with the goal of making the most impact with every single gift. Nine years ago, we made the decision to invest donations in the future of these youth and we have gotten an incredible return. Walking through the halls of their school this weekend brought tears to my eyes. The success stories go on and on. Kathy grew up there and now has a law degree, working at the border. 3 more students are studying law. Another girl is on her way to becoming a chef and cooks the meals at the orphanage during her time off at school. A few others have gone on to be cosmetologists. They live in an apartment together. Nine years later we get to see that IT IS WORKING.


Without these success stories to balance out the sadness of the situation in the poorest areas of the world (including the US), I wouldn't last long in this line of work. But with just one of these stories, I am idealistic and ready to fight. The fact that the HALO Family has been able to take even just one child from the absolute worst circumstance and give her permission and tools to dream has given you and I the permission and tools to dream as well.



Mexico Home immediate needs:

35 mattresses at $38 each
35 sheets at $5 each
35 blankets (fleece quilts - need these to be made)
2 additional staff members

Please leave a comment if you are interested in helping with one of these needs or other needs of HALO youth. Thank you!

The M&M Integrity Lesson

HALO's monthly life skill is Integrity. We have been discussing what this word truly means with our board, staff, volunteers, and the youth we serve. Our definition has come down to an actionable item: do what you say you are going to do. The story below is not for the easily grossed-out. Its about potty training. Proceed with caution.

My 2 year-old son Klaebel is going through the lovely process of potty training. The potty part he has gotten down with flying colors. The #2 part is taking a little longer. He had it down for a few weeks but for some reason he got what I call "poo anxiety". He all of a sudden started freaking out when it was poo time and would hide under tables or blankets when he had to go. Not exactly fun when I am in line at Target with him and his one year old brother. I tried everything - comforting him, bribing with M&M's, long discussions about everyone else in his life (including super heroes) who successfully go #2 on the toilet, and I still got a scared little guy who thought there was a monster in the toilet.

One night, I was home alone with the boys and I sat Klaebel on the toilet. He was scared but we both knew he really had to go. I sat down on a little stool in front of him him and he hugged my neck, crying, saying "Klaebel do it." I kept telling him it was ok to go on the toilet, reassuring that it wouldn't hurt. After a bit, he finally trusted me. We heard a "plop" in the toilet which caused his cry to turn into a laugh I will never forget. (At this point I was crying too). He screamed, "PLOP!!" We both sat there for what seemed like eternity, laughing hysterically with tears streaming down our faces. It was one of those times when I felt like I was hanging out with an adult as he totally got the humor of the situation.

After his bath, books, PJ, and prayers, I was rocking him to sleep singing his songs. He closed his eyes and drifted off. I was exhausted and started to fall asleep when all of a sudden in a loud little voice I hear, "M&M&M&M!" He remembered. I promised him earlier in the week that he could have an M&M if he went #2 on the toilet. At this point, going all the way down stairs to get him an M&M at a time of night when he shouldn't have one sounded like a bad idea. I was actually being lazy. I looked down at him and thought, how could I say no to this? He just had a major life success. Who am I to take away my promise? Following through builds trust. That's what integrity is all about. Would he ever trust me again when I said I would do something if I didn't follow through? I sat him in the rocking chair, went downstairs and got 2 M&M's with a sippy-cup of milk. I held him in my arms and we had an M&M toast. Klaebel giggled himself to sleep. I didn't stop smiling the rest of the night. And honestly, it was the best toast of my life.

The next time I even think of not following through, I will remember The M&M Integrity Lesson, taught by the one and only Klaebel James Welsh.

At the age of eleven

"If you're going through hell, keep on going." Winston Churchill

As I wait in line at the border with the golden ticket in hand, I consider those who would give anything for a chance to be in my shoes. Simply walking over an imaginary line with a little blue passport booklet that says I am allowed to cross makes all the difference in this world.

Stepping on to a plane using a ticket that costs more than 3 years of income for many people, I can't help but think about how blessed we are to live in the United States. I so often take for granted that I live in the land of opportunity.

What seems like a hard day to me may be a paradise for someone else. I am not tortured, I am not hungry, I am not sick. I am not fighting in a war. I sit in a newly air conditioned office and my challenges pale in comparison to those of other people right down the street. To keep my challenging days in perspective, I focus on the resilience of HALO youth. With perseverance as our monthly life skill, I immediately thought about this story.

I have shared a bit about Kennedy before. He and his siblings lost their parents at a very young age. Their grandmother couldn't afford to feed them so once they were old enough (still children), they would work in a limited potato field near their grandmother's home. Kennedy was the leader of the pack, the oldest, and would work in the field day in and day out with the hot Kenyan sun beating on his back. That is a hell no 11 year old should go through.

Kennedy and his younger brother, Samson, were brought to the HALO home in Kenya 7 years ago. Kennedy was enrolled in school and although he was years behind, he learned to read and write and made it through to carpentry vocational training, which was his dream. He now lives in a small apartment very close to the HALO home with another HALO home graduate, working as a carpenter. Both boys still come to the home for warm meals with their HALO family.

On days when he was bent over, digging the dry earth, searching for just one potato for his starving little brother to eat, Kennedy could have given up. Instead he made the choice every morning to persevere. Every day. There was no room for complaining. Kennedy now has a skill that will provide for his family and community for the rest of his life.

When I think I am having a hard day, I remember Kennedy at the age of 11 in that hot, dry, Kenyan field.

My self edit to Winston Churchill's quote - If you're going through hell, keep it in perspective. And then keep on going.

I don't want to go to jail

Every day we see youth who have been in such a sad place, they are not able to even think about what their goals might be. 

I am not in that place. If you are reading this blog, most likely you are not in that place. The fact that we have so many resources at our fingertips everyday should bring a seriousness to the reality of our purpose and potential in life. Its a stark reality that our responsibility to live life to its fullest is a privilege. This is why each of us should take goal setting seriously, especially within HALO.

Watching one of our youth evolve to the place where they feel someone believes in them so much that it is ok to believe in themselves is the most rewarding thing about our job. Mere exposure to opportunity and words of encouragement sparks an openness to possibilities and dreams that inspire me to no end.

This week one of our youth in Jefferson City set the goal to turn his life around. He is 17 and his father is in prison. His goal is to not go down the same path. He finally believes in himself enough to set the goal of not being a thug and not going to jail. 

Another young girl in Kansas City started believing in herself enough to set the goal of becoming the first in her entire family to graduate high school.

This fascinating 2 minute clip is from the HALO Bukessa Home in Uganda about a young boy Musissi and his goal to become an electrician. 

Imagine the odds these kids are working against. Everything in their lives to this point has told them they are not allowed to think about becoming someone. Their courage to believe and say, out load, that they are committed to their goals is incredibly humbling. 

I thought long and hard about my personal goals for this year. I am still working on a few of them but my overall goal is to keep things simple and positive. Within HALO we have some very big goals, goals that we take seriously, goals that when we meet them, will impact lives. When I start to question if we will be able to meet our goals, I think of the odds our kids are working against and any question leaves my mind.

Each of us owe it to ourselves, our communities, and to those who are in a sad place... We must set goals to reach our full potential because it is a privilege. 

The Greatest Gift

This week started in a state of urgency for HALO. I came into the office Monday with an email from The Woodland Foundation that stated the following: The Woodland Foundation will offer forty $1,000 scholarships of $1,000 for each donor who signs up to give $84 per month as a HALO Hero or donate $1000. These scholarships will be given in the name of the person or family that the donor indicates for the Holidays. The urgency: HALO has until December 31st, 2012 to find 40 compassionate donors who want to take advantage of this gift opportunity. 

At first I was a bit overwhelmed about all this but now I find myself excited. It is ironic that our life skill for this month is compassion, which means being aware of a need and having the desire to help. Our team brainstormed for an hour about how we are going to get the word out. All we can do is make people aware of the need and share the opportunity. So, here's the deal:

It only costs $1000 for our international youth to attend vocational college and learn a skill that they will have for the rest of their lives. $40,000 of scholarships means 40 youth could reach their dreams of going to college. One pledge will not only be helping one youth reach their potential, but their future and family will be impacted for years to come. 

Here is an example of one of our youth who will be impacted by this program: Mark has lived in a HALO home for 3 years in Uganda because he lost both of his parents. He is now 17 years old, reaching the age he will be on his own. He dreams of becoming an electrical engineer and says, "I want to use my skills to earn a living for myself and my future family". Now imagine if you could give Mark this opportunity...

So for your gift this year, consider giving a scholarship in your family's name or ask for one from Santa. It truly is the gift that gives for years to come. That's compassion in action.

Please contact us if you are interested in this opportunity. HALO will send a scholarship certificate in your family's name to the address you indicate. Click here or call 816.472.4256 to become a HALO Hero and Begin a Dream for a youth like Mark.

May your days be merry and bright,

Rebecca

Health Matters to HALO Youth

This month's HALO Life Skill is Health. I asked Nicole Gerken, HALO Director of Operations, NASM Certified Personal Trainer and Corrective Exercise Specialist at Advanced Fitness Consulting to be a guest blogger on this topic. Nicole is the healthiest person I know, running marathons and constantly seeking the healthier options for herself and her family. This month, she taught three HALO Kansas City Learning Center workshops centered around "Health." Here are some highlights and tips we should all use in our lives. 

Nicole and her son Gavin at the HALO office.

Health Matters to HALO Youth

Health is a passion of mine and a topic that the kids were truly interested in. I wanted to share what we covered in case this can make a difference in your life too. Because, let's be honest, if you don't have your health, you don't have anything, right? 

To set the stage, we changed the ambiance with relaxing music and began doing a breathing exercise. Standing tall like a tree, feet rooted. Taking in a deep breath to the count of five, holding that breath for another five seconds and then releasing that breath saying the word "Dream." Repeating this three times. We then learned two yoga poses: downward facing dog and child's pose. Some had done yoga before and others were hesitate. But after we did this, everyone seemed at peace and focused. We talked about how we forget to breathe. I mean really breathe in and breathe out. And how it can change the way you feel if you are feeling stressed. And just by doing two yoga stretches, what a difference that can make in our body. And what's great about these two things, you can do them anywhere.

We shared what we want to be in the future and why our health is important. If you want to be a police officer, why is your health important? If you want to be a choir teacher, why does your health matter? And everyone had an answer. They got it. This was so encouraging for me because I don't always see this with adults. They said things like: "I can't take a job and be sick all of the time." "If I'm a basketball player, I will need to take good care of my body so I can be fit enough to handle practice." You get the idea.

HALO Youth holding Plank position!

For the topic of nutrition, and I asked the question: What is more important, nutrition or physical exercise? What makes a bigger impact? They all said nutrition. So smart. It's actually 80 percent nutrition and 20 percent physical exercise. Not everyone out there understands that concept. We then started taking a closer look at some examples of food and how to read labels. We reviewed a short list of tips by Dr. David Katz:

Clue #1: Never trust the front of a package.
Clue #2: The first ingredient is always the biggest.
Clue #3: Identify harmful ingredients like hydrogenated oils (trans fats) and artificial colors.
Clue #4: Look for a short ingredient list.
Clue #5: Fiber is your friend. We need 25-50 grams each day!

We discussed how the average person consumes 5 lbs. of sugar in a week, and we have to become nutrition detectives and be our own advocate. The big shocker of the night was an old bag of chicken nuggets and french fries that I had passed around. Most guessed a couple of weeks. But they about fell over when I announced they were three years old. Yes, that stuff stays in our body. Ewwwww. 

We then talked about important health tips that could be done daily:


1. Drink water. We need to drink half our body weight in ounces per day. So for example, if you are 100 lbs., then you need to drink 50 oz. of water. And you would definitely increase that intake if you are working out.
2. Sleep. Children ages 5-10 years old need 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night; teens 10-17 need 8.5 to 9.25 hours. 
3. Practice breathing and taking time for yourself to reflect.
4. Eat as many fruits and veggies as you can when given the choice. It's recommended to have 7-13 servings a day. 
5. MOVE!

Exercise is my favorite part. For the younger kids, we played a dance game called Free Frame. Try this with your kids: Turn on the music, dance. Turn off the music, freeze. Pretty simple. They love it and don't even realize they are actually exercising. For the older kids, we created a workout station with six exercises using just their body weight. They had a good sweat by the end, which I assured them sweating is good for us and it helps to clean out our pores.

We ended the workshop asking the question, what is one small change you are going to make with your health? I received answers like drinking more water, going for a walk daily, not eating fast food, practicing yoga, eating better, etc. So proud of them. Baby steps add up. One small change can make a difference, as we know for HALO. So, I ask you, why is your health important and what is one small change you are going make? Because, your health does matter, and maintaining our health should be our top priority.

So that we have something

At our strategic planning meeting last week our Program Director, Lacy Voight, read the letter below from one of our HALO youth. That night 13 hard working volunteers heard Lacy read the letter. They each went on to share a bit about why they started helping HALO. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. In fact, a few people literally had a tough time pulling it together. 

Lacy read the letter below and said, "HALO is the first thing I want to talk about when I meet someone and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night." Lacy started as a HALO volunteer with a passion for art and children. Her dedication led her to a full time position overseeing our local and international programs. Lacy's creativity and passion has made a direct impact on hundreds of youth around the world. 

Lisa Fasone told the story of a girl she has mentored at the HALO Center. She shared the experience of helping her move into her dorm at college a few months ago. "All the other kids were there with their families, setting up their laptops and getting out their matching comforters. I can't imagine what that must feel like. But I am glad we could be there for her."

We all have a reason why we do what we do.  Mine is the first little street girl I met in Honduras over 10 years ago who was begging me for water. She was 6. Her name was Daisy. She inspired HALO. Her face in my mind drove me to do one more thing every day, make one more phone call, ask one more person for help...for years. She still does. 

Our motives are the most authentic thing we have. Whatever it is for you -  a memory, a person, a moment - find it, cling to it, and let it drive you.